


Tea Without Sugar

by bipolar_chris



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Internal Conflict, M/M, The Rain Scene, could be read as L/Light, im feelin ANGSTY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24784705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipolar_chris/pseuds/bipolar_chris
Summary: L has lost. He has some tea.
Relationships: L & Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	Tea Without Sugar

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i was feeling SUPER angsty and i cranked this out in, like half an hour. this is basically just a vent fic for me to angst all over y'all and work on writing first person internal struggles.

I drink my tea without sugar for the first time tonight. It doesn’t change anything.

My end is drawing near. One would think that the knowledge might put me at ease--a final rest-- but as the bells toll on, it only serves to fill me with dread.

I have been beaten. So here I sit, in the rain. It’s warm. The sound is almost enough to drown out the ringing. 

Almost. 

Nothing but death can erase this awareness. That, like it or not, he has won.

I concede.

But just this moment in the rain, the irony almost comforting, I live in a dream. A world without enemies and games and tricks. A world where we could be friends, no longer two sides of the same coin. Where we could work as a single, well-oiled machine. Maybe we already do.

Or perhaps not. It’s been so long since I’ve been certain of anything other than the end. No matter. The rain will fall and the bells will ring and the tea will cool and I will die. These are simply facts of life. And him-- well, he will continue on as normal. 

No matter how long I sit here, he will go unbothered.

It’s hard to know that nobody will care that I’m gone, least of all him. 

I want my memory to burn him.

I want my words to haunt him.

I want just a single piece of evidence that I was alive. Not ‘L’, the symbol. Not Ryuzaki. Not Ryuga Hideki. L Lawliet; me. 

None of it will come to be. Rain, bells, tea, death. That is the only future left for me. 

The door behind me opens and I sigh. 

Is it really time? 

Was there ever time for me; ever a point where I was destined to live past this moment? 

I don’t think so. 

This is how it was meant to end. 

No point in fighting or kicking or screaming. There never was. 

I lost.

The tea is bitter. 


End file.
